3 John 3 - Diotrephes: The Danger of Loving First Place

One word exposes Diotrephes before St John lists a single deed: he loves first place. In a letter where Gaius opens his life to faithful brethren who go forth for Christ’s Name, Diotrephes closes the church around himself. His desire recruits his speech, controls hospitality, and punishes those who refuse his control.

Yet Diotrephes is not the destination of this passage. St John names the harm because the Church must face harm truthfully, then addresses Gaius as “Beloved” and commands him to imitate the good. The Christian answer to corrupt influence is neither denial nor a rival struggle for preeminence. It is accountable truth, communion guarded from coercion, and a life deliberately patterned after what comes from God.

Loving First Place and Refusing Reception (3 John 1:9)

⁹ I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence among them, does not receive us.

St John had already written to the church, but this letter does not identify that earlier writing. Equating it with 2 John would turn silence into certainty. What the verse does reveal is more important: Diotrephes refuses to receive the Elder and those with him. His influence has become strong enough to resist an apostolic appeal before the church.

Third John belongs to a network of traveling brethren who depended on faithful Christians to receive them and send them onward. In that setting, reception was more than courtesy. It meant recognizing faithful service and sharing materially in mission. Diotrephes therefore interferes with both apostolic communion and the hospitality that sustains those who go forth for Christ’s Name.¹

Language insight

The expression translated “who loves to have the preeminence” is built on the rare verb φιλοπρωτεύω (philoprōteuō), “to love to be first.” The present participle describes an appetite that characterizes Diotrephes. St John does not name his office, and the text does not establish whether he was a bishop, presbyter, patron, householder, or influential layman. It names what he loves.²

That distinction protects the passage from anti-hierarchy misuse. Leadership itself is not the sin. In Mark 10:35-45, James and John themselves ask for the places beside Christ in glory. The Lord does not feed their ambition or discard them. He teaches them greatness through service and grounds it in His own gift of His life. Read within the Church’s reception of the Elder as St John, the warning against Diotrephes comes from an apostle whose own desire for rank had needed Christ’s correction. That gives the warning both gravity and hope: love of first place is deadly when defended, but it can be healed when surrendered to the Lord.

The verb translated “receive” appears again in verse 10. In verse 9 it can include refusing to accept the Elder’s claim or authority; in verse 10 it concerns refusing hospitality to the brethren. St John joins the two refusals with one repeated word. Diotrephes closes himself to correction, then closes the church to faithful people.³

Malicious Words, Blocked Welcome, and Expulsion (3 John 1:10)

¹⁰ Therefore, if I come, I will call to mind his deeds which he does, prating against us with malicious words. And not content with that, he himself does not receive the brethren, and forbids those who wish to, putting them out of the church.

St John promises to call Diotrephes’ deeds to mind when he comes. He names deeds, not rumors, and he accepts responsibility to address them in person. This is pastoral accountability. Love does not conceal conduct that injures the Church, but neither does it turn accusation into entertainment. Truthful accountability identifies specific actions for protection, repentance, and healing. Retaliation seeks humiliation; gossip circulates suspicion without taking responsibility for restoration.

Verse 10 traces a deliberate escalation. Diotrephes speaks maliciously against the Elder. He then refuses the brethren himself. He forbids Christians who wish to receive them. Finally, he puts those willing hosts out of the church. Love of first place has become control of speech, hospitality, conscience, access, and belonging. The problem is larger than an unpleasant personality. One man’s disordered desire has become anti-communion.

The expulsion has a searching Gospel parallel. In John 9:34-38, the authorities cast out the man whose sight Christ had restored; Jesus then finds him and draws him into faith and worship. The verb for casting out belongs to the same Greek family as the expulsion here. Religious exclusion can become resistance to the very Lord it claims to serve. For someone wounded by such misuse, Christ’s seeking of the cast-out man offers consolation without making every disputed boundary unjust. A powerful person’s rejection is not the measure of Christ’s love.

The NKJV’s older word “prating” translates φλυαρέω (phlyareō), which carries the sense of empty, foolish, or mischievous talk. St John joins it to “malicious words,” so the phrase cannot be reduced to harmless chatter. Diotrephes makes groundless, injurious accusations, and those words prepare the community to accept his later acts of refusal and exclusion.⁴

This warning must be handled with equal honesty in modern parish life. Condemning malicious accusation must never become a way to silence a truthful report of abuse, protect a powerful person from scrutiny, or dismiss evidence as gossip. St John himself responds to harm by bringing deeds into accountable light. The difference lies in truth, evidence, responsibility, and the aim of protecting and healing the Church.

Nor does verse 10 abolish legitimate discernment or discipline. 2 John 1:10-11 warns believers not to receive teachers who do not abide in the doctrine of Christ. Diotrephes is condemned because he rejects faithful brethren and coerces those who wish to receive them. The passage opposes exclusion in service of preeminence, not boundaries in service of truth.

Gems from the Fathers 💎

St John Chrysostom’s preaching on Christ’s words in Matthew 23 names the medicine for the love of first place. He teaches that Christ does more than forbid ambition: “For not only doth He forbid him to set his heart upon the first place, but requires him to follow after the last.”⁵ Humility is not pretending to be worthless. It is freedom from arranging the Church around one’s own importance.

Chrysostom also explains why Diotrephes’ conduct wounds the Church herself: “the Church’s name … is not a name of separation, but of unity and concord.”⁶ Unity does not erase doctrine, accountability, or proper discipline. It names the end that Church order should serve. Diotrephes uses influence to make his own preeminence the center; authority shaped by Christ gathers, protects, corrects, and serves communion.

The Beloved Must Imitate the Good (3 John 1:11)

¹¹ Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God.

After exposing Diotrephes, St John turns directly to Gaius: “Beloved.” Evil must be named, but it must not become the center of the believer’s attention. A community can oppose a controlling person and still copy his methods through contempt, rumor, factionalism, or a rival demand for control. St John breaks that cycle with a positive command: imitate the good.

The command is personal. The Greek μὴ μιμοῦ (mē mimou) is singular: “do not imitate.” Each hearer must choose a pattern. Imitation here is active formation, not distant approval. What we repeatedly watch, praise, excuse, and practice begins to shape us. Verse 12 will immediately present Demetrius as a man of good testimony, giving the beloved a living contrast to Diotrephes.⁷

St John’s contrast between “he who does good” and “he who does evil” concerns practiced conduct. The present participles describe a continuing way of acting, not one isolated failure or one impressive deed. “He who does good is of God” therefore does not teach that good works purchase divine sonship. Life from God bears recognizable fruit. Persistent evil, especially when hidden beneath religious importance, exposes a life that has not truly perceived God.⁸

The phrase “has not seen God” is severe, but it is not permission to pronounce a person’s final judgment from one observed sin. In Johannine language, seeing God includes real spiritual perception and knowledge expressed in life. A claim to know God is contradicted when a person habitually destroys the good that comes from God. The proper response is sober discernment, protection of those harmed, and hope for repentance, not gleeful condemnation.⁹

Verse 11 also gives hope to anyone who recognizes part of Diotrephes’ pattern within himself. Christ does not expose our desire for recognition merely to shame us. He calls us out of imitation of evil and into the good. The servant who has defended status can confess it. The person who has used speech to gather allies can return to truthful, responsible words. The leader who has controlled access can open his hands. Grace makes repentance concrete.

The Church’s Voice in Worship ⛪

On Friday of the first week of Great Lent, the Coptic lectionary reads the whole letter alongside Romans 12:6-21. On Thursday of the seventh week of the Holy Fifty, its Catholic Epistle begins at 3 John 1:10 and continues through the closing greetings.¹⁰

The Lenten Pauline reading brings the examination close: honor others, practice hospitality, associate with the humble, refuse retaliation, and overcome evil with good. These are not merely alternatives to Diotrephes’ behavior; they are habits by which a community learns to resist his pattern without reproducing it. Fasting must reach the appetite for importance as surely as it reaches the appetite for food. The letter’s final movement keeps that struggle hopeful: harmful deeds are exposed so that good can be practiced and communion protected.

Spiritual Fruit 🍇

Confess the need to be first before it recruits your service. The wound may appear as resentment when someone else is thanked, anxiety when another servant is trusted, or defensiveness when correction arrives. Name the desire before Christ without dressing it as zeal. Bring a concrete instance to confession: the cutting remark after someone else was praised, the opportunity withheld, the correction refused. Then bless one person’s good work without inserting yourself into the recognition. Humility begins to heal the parish where repentance changes an actual relationship.

Refuse to build a case through malicious speech. When hurt or corrected, the heart may gather allies before it seeks truth. Do not repeat a charge merely because repetition gives relief or influence. Write down the observable facts, bring them to the person or responsible authority who can address them, and refuse embellishment. Silence is not required when someone is in danger; truthful, accountable speech is.

Release unnecessary control over access and belonging. Diotrephes forbids people who wish to receive the brethren. His sin reaches beyond his own choice and tries to govern everyone else’s conscience. Examine where you hoard information, opportunities, relationships, or ministry access because another person’s freedom threatens your importance. Open one door that you have kept closed for yourself.

Practice accountability without becoming what you oppose. St John intends to call harmful deeds to mind, yet his next command is to imitate good. Address wrong specifically. Protect those who are vulnerable. Seek repentance and proper consequences. Refuse humiliation, contempt, and the pleasure of watching an opponent fall.

Give good examples more attention than destructive personalities. Evil can dominate conversation long after it has been named. Verse 11 turns the beloved toward good, and verse 12 will name Demetrius. Choose one recognizable good to imitate: receive a faithful servant, send someone forward, speak a truthful word that protects communion, or serve in a place where no first place is available. Christ frees us from the need to win preeminence by teaching us His own way of service.

Teaching Notes

Loving First Place and Refusing Reception (3 John 1:9)

• Ask: Why does St John identify Diotrephes first by what he loves rather than by an office or title?
• Emphasize: The rare verb names an appetite for first place; the text neither condemns Church order nor establishes Diotrephes’ formal role.
• Watch for: Do not use Diotrephes as a casual label for a priest, servant, family member, or opponent. The charge in verses 9-10 is specific and severe.
• Connect: Session 2 showed Gaius receiving and sending faithful brethren. Diotrephes turns that open fellowship into refusal and control.

Malicious Words, Blocked Welcome, and Expulsion (3 John 1:10)

• Ask: What are the four stages in the verse’s escalation from speech to expulsion?
• Emphasize: John names observable deeds and promises responsible, in-person accountability. His goal is protection and truth, not revenge.
• Watch for: Distinguish malicious accusation from evidence-based disclosure of abuse. Also distinguish coercive exclusion from legitimate doctrinal discernment and discipline.
• Connect: Read 2 John 1:10-11 beside this verse so the class holds hospitality and discernment together.

The Beloved Must Imitate the Good (3 John 1:11)

• Ask: Why does St John redirect Gaius so quickly from Diotrephes’ evil to the imitation of good?
• Emphasize: Practiced conduct reveals spiritual origin; it does not purchase grace. The command protects the Church from copying evil while resisting it.
• Watch for: Do not pronounce a person’s final standing before God from one failure, and do not let the session become an extended character attack on Diotrephes.
• Connect: Verse 11 prepares for Demetrius in Session 4, where good testimony supplies a positive example.

Sources

Scripture is from NKJV.

1. David Shaw, “The Eagle Has Landed: 3 John and Its Theological Vision for Pastoral Ministry,” Themelios 48.1 (2023), The Gospel Coalition.

2. Greek text and lexical references: 3 John 1:9, 3 John 1:10, 3 John 1:11, φιλοπρωτεύω, ἐπιδέχομαι, φλυαρέω, μιμέομαι, ἀγαθοποιέω, κακοποιέω, and ὁράω.

3. St John Chrysostom, Homily LXXII on Matthew 23:12, CCEL and New Advent.

4. St John Chrysostom, Homily I on First Corinthians 1:2, New Advent.

5. Coptic Orthodox Katameros, Friday of the first week of Great Lent and Thursday of the seventh week of the Holy Fifty, Liturgy; exact appointments and source links in the liturgical footnote.

Footnotes

1. David Shaw, “The Eagle Has Landed: 3 John and Its Theological Vision for Pastoral Ministry,” Themelios 48.1 (2023), thegospelcoalition.org ↩

2. BibleHub, 3 John 1:9 Greek text and φιλοπρωτεύω / philoprōteuō. ↩

3. BibleHub, ἐπιδέχομαι / epidechomai, 3 John 1:9 Greek text, and 3 John 1:10 Greek text. ↩

4. BibleHub, 3 John 1:10 Greek text and φλυαρέω / phlyareō. ↩

5. St John Chrysostom, Homily LXXII on Matthew 23:12, NPNF1 10, CCEL, ccel.org ↩

6. St John Chrysostom, Homily I on First Corinthians 1:2, NPNF1 12, New Advent, newadvent.org ↩

7. BibleHub, 3 John 1:11 Greek text and μιμέομαι / mimeomai. ↩

8. BibleHub, 3 John 1:11 Greek text, ἀγαθοποιέω / agathopoieō, and κακοποιέω / kakopoieō. ↩

9. BibleHub, 3 John 1:11 Greek text and ὁράω / horaō. ↩

10. Coptic Orthodox Katameros, Friday of the first week of Great Lent, 28 February 2025, Catholic Epistle, 3 John 1:1-15; Pauline Epistle, Romans 12:6-21; and Thursday of the seventh week of the Holy Fifty, 20 June 2024, Catholic Epistle, 3 John 1:10-15. These source labels use a fifteen-verse division; the closing greeting is included in NKJV verse 14. Compare the 1904 Patriarchal text, verses 14-15. ↩